May 14, 2017 – More Than Just Friends

Sunday, May 4, 2017

Speaker: Ron Hunka

Study Series: Living Your Faith 24/7

Study #1: More Than Just Friends

Scripture: Genesis 2:24 (all Scripture links go to BibleGateway.com)

audio

Link to Podcast

Communication is all about talking & listening

  • Being a better talker means saying what we are feeling & why
  • Being a better listener means listening for the right stuff

Feelings 101 – Feelings Compass (n-s-e-w)

  • Happy – Sad – Angry – Scared – Confused

Communication 101

  • I feel _____ when you ______. Ex. I feel happy when you give me a kiss

Communication 201

  • I feel _____ when you ______
  • Because _____ as a result ______. Ex. I feel scared when you pull out in front of me in the intersection b/c I think I am going to get in an accident. As a result I am leery around big trucks at intersections.
  • Being a Better Listener means listening for the main idea or the heart of the message. Identifying the emotion is a bonus.

We can get stuck in Forgiveness because when someone hurt us WE the offended party ALWAYS have to pay for it

  • Some of the ways include-
    • giving up our grudge / bitterness
    • letting someone get away with an injustice
    • accepting a painful situation
    • risk being hurt again
  • “Forgive as quickly & completely as the Master forgave you” Col 3:13

“For this reason- a man will leave his father and his mother – and be united to his wife – and they will become -one flesh” Gen 2:24

  • Healthy Marriages happen when couples learn to Let Go, Hang On and Have Fun
    • Letting Go happens when we change priorities regarding who has the most influence over us
    • Hanging On happens when we open up our hearts and share ALL of our life with our fiancé / spouse, connecting with them at a deep level
    • Having Fun happens when we please our spouse physically

Emotional Affairs

  • statistics say that 1 out of every 2 people in our culture will experience an Emotional Affair sometime in their life
  • Some of the Differences between a Friendship with someone of the opposite sex & Someone you are having an emotional affair with are –
    • A friend – is someone you casually interact with in your daily life
      • Someone who is a natural part of your workplace or social life
      • Someone you do not need to see on a regular basis
      • Someone you feel comfortable being around even when you are with your spouse
    • If you are having an emotional affair with someone, some of the things you would be experiencing include –
      • You will be filled with anticipation about the next time you are going to interact w/ them
      • You will make plans to meet w/ them and talk about things happening with them on a personal level
      • This will be a secret you will want to hide from your spouse
      • You will do this because being with this person makes you feel better about yourself then being with anyone else
    • People who are caught in emotional affairs tend to have thoughts like these –
      • You deserve to be happy and this person makes you happy
      • You have been working real hard and your spouse doesn’t seem to notice
      • You probably married the wrong person anyway
      • The kids will understand –they are tough and resilient
      • This is not hurting anyone, nobody needs to know
  • Culture says that being emotionally close to someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse is no big deal, but Jesus says the opposite that it all begins in your heart:
    • Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt 5:28)

“Guard your heart – for it is the wellspring of life” (Pr 4:23)

  • Guarding your heart is important because if you don’t keep out the bad that wants to steal kill and destroy, and protect the good the blessing that God has given you, then you are headed for trouble!
  • After we have dealt with issues of the heart, after confession & repentance has taken place, & forgiveness has been offered, then we can do some tangible things to rekindle that closeness in our hearts again and help it grow strong
  • In “Close Calls”, David Carder says we can inject some infatuation back into our marriage relationship when we:
    • 1. Recreate the Great Moments we had early on in our relationship & make them new again
      • Ex. If you had a great time watching a sports event together early in your relationship, then go back to the same sporting event watching the same teams play in the same stadium sitting as close as you can to the same seats -& the positive emotions that you experience doing this will help you rekindle your closeness
    • 2. Resurrect those Healthy Rituals you once had, the “Remember when we used to —“ ones.
      • It’s the anticipation of these rituals that you want to stir up
    • 3. Start a Compliment Journal in your mind or on paper & everyday when you see your spouse doing something that you really like –make note of that. But don’t just write out the compliment, write down how they use it

No matter where you are -on the closeness scale w/ your spouse -never forget that God is a God of hope

  • if God can bring Jesus back from the dead He can bring healing and wholeness back into your life no matter how many broken pieces you offer Him
  • I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint (Jer 31:25)

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